Why aren’t you in complete bliss? If you think carefully you will be able to find out that it is because you no longer have control over yourself, instead the regrets you have about life have taken control of you.
Just think along with me for a moment, how are your thoughts behaving? Do you honestly have authority over your thoughts? Or are the thoughts of regret controlling you? We generally tend to regret for two main reasons, one reason is for “What we did” and the second reason is for “What we could not do”.
At one point in my life, I was greatly depressed, that I tried to escape the realities of life at three occasions. It was simply because these two main forces of regret were intensely controlling me. Half the day I would regret about the things I did in the past. Such as being disobedient to my parents, being arrogant towards the society, consuming drugs, chasing over sexual immoralities just as a stray dog, wasting a lot of money that I earned in Australia, rejecting the good job opportunities offered by the USA, associating highly detrimental people, and many other moments of regret which I continued for many years.
The rest of the day I would regret on the things that I could not do. I couldn’t get into the engineering faculty because I was addicted to drugs, I couldn’t become a national level sportsman even though I was good in many sports during my young age, I didn’t treasure valuable relationships in life and I failed to excel in my career like my schoolmates who were in high positions at that time.
In this manner, I have been wasting years and years of my life regretting about what I did as well as what I couldn’t do. These continuous thoughts of regret, stole my opportunity to live in the very moment of life. Though I was physically active at that time, regret had made my mind unconscious.
One blessed day, I came into a conscious state of mind, and realised that what is gone is gone, I cannot do anything about it. I came to an understanding that the only way to reverse what I have done, was to start doing things which are against what I have done and also to start doing things I could not do without a delay.
Regret actually purchases your mind and makes you an outsider of your own mind, just as a person who is living on rent. A tenant has to abide by the rules and regulations of the landlord, since he doesn’t own the property. Is your mind being purchased by regretful thoughts and are you being controlled by them, instead of taking control of your own thoughts and feelings. Just as corrosion occurs when all or part of the atoms on the same metal surface are oxidized, damaging the entire or part of the surface with, regret consumes your time and kills the invaluable time which could be invested productively.
Regret produces four disastrous byproducts namely – anger, hatred, bitterness and negativity. Think for a moment, the more you regret the more you become angry with yourself and the people whom you think are responsible for your downfall. As regret constantly pushes you to compare yourself with others, it enhances the hateful feelings you have towards the society and the overall system. Hatefulness, cultivates roots of bitterness within you and gradually converts you into a bitter personality. When a person’s soul is bitter, his thoughts, feelings and emotions become bitter. His sight regarding life automatically shifts to a negative perspective.
The truth is that anger, hatred, bitterness and negativity are four aspects that we use to take revenge from ourselves for the sins others have done. When another driver overtakes us we lose our temper and destroy our peace of mind, whereas that driver moves forward listening to lovely music. When someone doesn’t return us the smile we expect from them, we start hating them and we come to a conclusion to live in hatred every time we see them whilst that person continues to live in utmost peace. Furthermore when someone leaves you all alone in the darkness, you attempt to deteriorate yourself by consuming alcohol, whereas the other party who left you is living in supreme bliss in another relationship. If you hear something despondent about your superior, you start looking at him in a negative perspective which tarnishes your relationship with him, thereby you are ruining your career, whereas your superior would move forward even with that mistake in his possession.
I am sure you would now agree with my statement that anger, hate, bitterness and negativity are four disastrous weapons that we use to punish ourselves. We’ve all heard the proverb “Cut off your nose to spite your face”. I am certain that today you will reanalyse your thinking pattern and take necessary decisions to free your mind. Realistically thinking our real enemies are not the outsiders, but we ourselves. That is the reason my first article in this series was captioned “You are Your Greatest Enemy”. Therefore, stop punishing yourself, instead take a decision to reward yourself.
When I started the second chapter of my life, people started giving numerous clarifications about me, that I was a notorious gangster, a drug addict rejected by society, a discarded mental patient and so many other negative interpretations. Do you know what my response was?
I didn’t even take time to think about them, I rather challenged the regretting thoughts by continually nourishing each and every blessing that was bestowed upon me. I kept on rising to greater heights, and I was even honoured by the United Nations University for Global Peace in USA, where my revitalisation was acknowledged as one of the rarest and astonishing comebacks in the world, from being a beggar in the streets to a world-class trainer/ inspirational speaker/ mentor and a CEO.
Therefore arise from the slavery of regretful thoughts and take charge of your feelings. Do not let negativity to overtake you, rather train your mind to overcome negativity through a process of positive thoughts. Learn to conquer bitterness with love, or else bitterness will conquer you and paralyse you.
Finally my advice for you is to return to where you were, and purchase your mind from where you ones pawned it to regretting thoughts. Free your mind, don’t let anyone or anything to purchase your mind again.
For comments: philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk
