We all face bitterness in some phase of life, where we will be compelled to walk through unpleasant feelings, hurtful circumstances, rejection, and betrayal which will undoubtedly have the capacity of depositing bitterness and resentment in our hearts and minds.
If bitterness is not rejected at its inception, it will certainly take root within you and continue to grow until it completely wallows you in misery and steals your happiness. Most of the unsolicited wars that took place in this world are due to a deed ones carried out by one party towards another, which ultimately ended up creating bitterness and resentment within the receiver.
Just as a wound is to the physical body, so is bitterness and resentment to the heart and mind. If they are not controlled or uprooted at its inception, these disastrous wounds of bitterness will slowly but surely take control over your peace. If you talk to a rebel or prisoner they will certainly blame another for their downfall.
At one point in time, I used to clench a bitterness towards my mother for leaving me at a very tender age. I always tried to blame her for my addiction to drugs. I justified my acts by depicting that I sought other means of happiness merely because of the loss of love from my mother during my childhood. During another chapter in my life I was wounded by the bitterness I had towards the lovers who left me in solitude.
These wounds converted me in to a person I never was, it prevented me from understanding the reality of life. In realism no lover would ever want to live in hell with a notorious drug addict. Instead of understanding that reality, I allowed bitterness to take root in me and transform me to approach life unrealistically, blaming others, who are actually not responsible for my deeds.
When you are given a land and other necessities for cultivation, you are accountable for its productivity. When the remote control is in your hand, your neighbour cannot switch the channels you watch. Once you have switched the channels according to your preference, it is unacceptable for you to blame others for being stressed as a result of what you saw in those channels, thus you should be held accountable for your actions.
On the other hand, life may have gotten you in to exceptional situations that are arduous to move forward with, for example if you are born an orphan, you must handle that circumstance wisely and prudently, if not you will allow bitterness to cultivate within you, and end up bearing a resentment towards the system with bitter and hateful feelings.
Sometimes you may have been abused in your childhood, or you might be abused by your husband even now. The furnace may be fiery but don’t let the bitterness and hurtful feelings burn you and consume you. Bitterness is a negative force, the more you encourage it the more it will thicken and take control over you, without your permission.
My adorable and beautiful wife came to this world not knowing who her father was. Instead of allowing bitterness to take root in her and abolish her future and happiness, she took a positive perspective towards her circumstance.
She overruled the roots of bitterness by cultivating a rewarding notion. Her prospect is to initiate an orphanage and become a mother to many orphans and treat that mutual wound, than letting it to spread across her and stagnate her in an ineffectual manner.
My belief is that the impact of a situation on a persons life is only 5% and 95% of the impact depends on the decision he makes amidst the situation.
Therefore, do not let the bitterness steal the sweetness in your life. The resolution to be bitter or better is yours. Will you let your circumstance turn you bitter? Or will you utilise your circumstance to make you better?
Suppose you are given a blunt grass cutter, you have the choice to renovate it by sharpening it and oiling it, in order to beautify your garden. But if we constantly grumble and mumble that the grass cutter is blunt and that the others possess new grass cutters, then you will end up living in a house with a horrifying garden.
Even though my wife has not yet started the orphanage she dreams of having, today she is making use of her traumatic childhood experience to spread the aroma of love to many lost souls.
In this manner she has transformed in to a victorious personality, rather than letting the bitterness and resentment make her blunt.
Sometime back I worked for a superior, whom everybody considered to be tough and unfair. Many were immensely bitter towards him, they even cursed him for the way he treated people. But I looked at the situation in a totally different perspective.
I told myself that it is a great opportunity and a blessing to work with such a perfectionist. It gave me the prospect of becoming a well-rounded individual. As I was blessed with the opportunity to refine myself to shine brighter. Today, I have accumulated great strength through all those tough situations in my life.
If you decide to quit practicing while you are at the initial stages, because you have to undergo tough situations and compete with other fast bowlers, then you will never be able to transfer upwards, because you lack the training you deserve to exist and perform at tough situations. But by constant practice, who knows if you might be able to even get into the national team and compete the fastest bowlers in the world.
The worst thing is that bitterness and resentment only hurt and steal the happiness of the person who feels bitter and not the person who has made him feel bitter. In my life I have witnessed unfortunate incidents where people have chosen the unwise route of suicide or consumption of alcohol and drugs due to the bitterness and resentment caused by another party, nevertheless the other involved party would live a blissful life leaving you in the dark.
Bitterness imprisons you in a darker cell, where you will continue to live in misery by fertilizing the roots of bitterness. Why not release yourself with the key of love and bury the roots of bitterness in the past and move forward with a craving for happiness? As for me, I am glad and grateful for the bitter days in my life, without that enlightenment I would not know the significance of the utmost pleasure of the sweetness of life which I am enjoying now, as a result of the bitterness I’ve tasted in life.
For comments: philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk
