Beware of Dream Drainers

A very good friend of mine who was once a notorious drug addict got out of the drug menace and began a beautiful life with his wife and two children. He prospered in many avenues financially and he accumulated plenty of wealth. He owned a beautiful dream of serving the youth who have lost themselves due to drug addiction. However, the more wealth he gathered the more he allowed new people into his life, including some of them who were not in his line of thinking, thus they were after gathering more and more wealth that they constantly discussed only making more money greedily. Until that he was nesting in bliss with his wife and two children. The more he spent time with his new associates the more his mind began to replace his original thoughts with the corrupt thoughts of the others.

My friend who had become completely sober slowly began to compromise his values in order to win the acceptance of his new associates. Whilst he was associating with his new friends, he met a vicious lady to whom he was physically attracted. As a result, he began to neglect his beautiful family which was living in abundant happiness at one point. His original dreams were completely shattered and he was panting and running after the dreams that his new associates had planted in him. First, he lost his beautiful Mercedes Benz and then his other two vehicles. His business began to slowly diminish and it collapsed disastrously leaving him in utmost darkness. The education of his children halted as their schools could no longer accommodate them for free. His wife who was a very innocent lady who once happily travelled in a Merc was now travelling by bus. We were in an unbearable state of tears to see the disaster she and her children had to go through. Last month, I heard the very sad news that my friend was imprisoned for carrying out some illegal business. Within the span of two years, he lost almost everything that he achieved for over twenty years.

This sad story leaves us an alarming case study for all those who live a beautiful life at present. Just as he was responsible for his success, he is responsible for his failure as well. The same man who was climbing up in abundant success collapsed at an even greater pace, leaving his wife and children in an ocean of tears and pain. All this initiated the moment he allowed a set of dream drainers to come into his life.

A good friend of mine called recently and said that his son is not performing well in his studies as he used to. The first question that I asked him was if he had gotten any new friends in his immediate surroundings. Even the tastiest of meals may turn out to become bitter if just one unsuitable ingredient is added to its original recipe. The sweetest fruit juice can become a bitter drink just because of a pinch of alien material. This is exactly why we must be very careful with our associates, as they possess the ability to drain our dreams and leave us mentally ill and dehydrated. The moment you attempt to paint in white using a paintbrush that was previously used to paint something in black, you will never be able to see your walls in brilliant white as the white would turn into grey as it is mixed with black.

We must make sure we preserve our dreams before they are drained out. Do not allow people who are not in your value system to invade your mind and steal your dreams. One of the biggest mistakes that we make in life is that we crave the acceptance and appreciation of others. Even though I appreciate being accepted, it gives me a very good feeling. Yet, you must never be miserable when you do not receive acceptance. If you learn to be content with who you are and what you do, you may not seek external appreciation in order to move forward. Therefore, do not accommodate dream drainers, they are sure to deceive you with their hidden agendas in no time. It is only then that you will realise that you have deviated from your precious dreams. Self-awareness or self-realisation is an essential quality that we must practice on a daily basis, as some deviations are so insignificant to even be identified at inception. You will notice them only after you find yourself stuck in a pit of mud.

It is perfectly alright to associate with a handful of like-minded friends rather than having thousands of dream drainers. Some time ago, I cleared out my FB by getting rid of all the joy killers, gossipers, hate provokers, negative thinkers and character slanders. We need to constantly surround ourselves with joy bringers, motivators, peace binders, positive thinkers and appreciators.

You need to master the art of living with yourself in happiness rather than attempting to seek happiness from others. We need to understand the reality that there is no perfect father, mother, boss, neighbour or president as they are all human beings. Living with expectations would do no harm as long as it does not stop you from moving forward when someone disappoints you. The reality is that the probability of people disappointing you is certainly greater than that of the people who will make you happy. 

Are you perfect? Well, I am not. We all have our own weaknesses and we sometimes hurt others even unconsciously. Some tend to say that they never hurt anyone, yet, they never make an effort to make others happy with their thoughts, words and actions. If you are a person who never hurt anyone nor make anyone happy then you are no different to a knife that is thrown away due to being corroded even though it was never used. You can also be compared to a tree that bears fruit that has fallen to the ground and left to rot without being consumed by anyone. I have seen my late grandmother sew a lot of jackets which she never even wore until she died.

There is a certain limit for everything from having your favourite meal to the medicines you take. Decide the level of the relationship you must have with dream drainers, and start mingling with dream nourishers. List down your associates and tick the dream drainers in red and close the gates of your mind for them. In addition to this, identify the vibrant and positive contributions of people and connect with them. The people you associate, with and the places you hang out have a great impact on your success. Have you ever noticed that there are some things that you did not like as a kid but you love now? This is the impact that influence has on you. Why do you think a company invests millions to hire a famous actor or sportsman to endorse its brand? These famous personalities could create or lead an opinion. Therefore, we need to be vigilant about the opinions that we allow into our minds.

Dream drainers are found everywhere. They generally carry a spirit of jealousy. It is always better to be alone than to be with dream drainers. They may damage the vessel in your mind and let your dreams leak to an extent that it makes you feel like you are no longer passionate about the dreams that you were once crazy about. Do not share your dreams with everyone. Honesty is a very important aspect but an uncontrolled tongue is sure to bring you disaster. Being honest and keeping quiet are two different things. Dogs that hail from strong bloodlines have caused their bloodline to deteriorate as a result of their elders being with dogs who are of less pedigree than them.  For comments: e-mail – philipnehri@chandanalepa.lk / voice – 0779 526 496